my name is Kino Kajin, and I've always been a lover of creative arts. I consider myself both a digital and traditional/mixed media artist. even though most of my pre-digital work has never made it to the internet, I wouldn't be the artist I am today if I hadn't started on paper. I've been conjuring fantastical creatures in my mind ever since I was little, and I was always fond of dogs, wolves and dragons. Around 11 years old is when I followed my first art tutorial, a "how to draw wolves" flipnote that was originally posted on hatena by user Symphonia♪
this created a core memory for me, and what I'll always look back to as the day I realized that I wanted to be a "professional" artist. I never met Symphonia, and I'm sure I never will- but I wish I could tell them how much they influenced me to find my passion, and inspired me to want to help others do the same. you could even say this person's art is what changed me from simply identifying with animals to becoming a full-on furry. it forever altered my brain chemistry, along with those famous old-internet art pieces that used to be all over people's binder covers at school (this one in particular).
you've probably seen me around the internet before, as I'm pretty old by today's standards (born in 1999). I was never a super big artist, but I gained some popularity back in the day with fandoms like Undertale, FNAF, Eddsworld, and even Law of Talos (funny story about that one actually.) ultimately, I never really resonated with fandom spaces, the people who followed me only wanted to see fanart, and the friends I made through fandoms didn't want much to do with me after I lost interest in the thing we bonded over. this led to me trying to erase my online presence- over and over again. for many years. I'd start over, usually on a new platform, with a new approach to how I wanted to interact with the world. how I wanted to show up authentically as myself. but I never really learned how to enjoy making art for the sake of making art. every time I gained even a little bit of popularity, I would suddenly feel pressured, overwhelmed and burnt out, leading me to ghost my socials as a result of not knowing how to cope with the real life struggles I was facing. eventually I came back and turned to selling character adoptables. being a disabled, unemployed artist, I treated being online like it was just a way to make money. character design was my one true love, so I felt like it made sense to become an adoptable seller. little did I know, the character trading & selling scene would end up not being that far different from those fandom spaces I had grown to feel disconnected to. I didn't want my artwork to become just another collectible, but I wanted to survive, and the money kept me going up until I would reach another point of extreme burnout. I don't think I posted online for a whole year after that.
currently, I am focusing on healing myself and building a better life. I am learning ways to sustain my existence without having to rely solely on my artwork. I am slowly figuring out that monetizing my passion doesn't need to be inherently damaging to my soul, it can be done in moderation, and in tandem with the things I already enjoy doing; connecting with people and inspiring, motivating and encouraging others to follow their dreams.
if I ever do become a famous artist, I want it to be for ONE reason: because I am so unapologetically myself that it speaks through my work and influences real change in the world.
if I have one biggest regret, it's the fact that I stopped creating when people stopped caring. if I could go back a few years, I would push myself to make art every single day without fail. who cares if I post it online or not? imagine where I would be now if I had been doing it all for the sake of my own happiness from the start.